Forty five years ago, CECES advocated healthy policies for Early Childhood Education (ECE).   We focused our attention on the education and development of 2-6 year olds, the youngest members of society.

Since then, our 2  year olds turned into adolescents, then they grew into parenthood.   Parents in the 1970’s are now grandparents,  some of them, great grandparents.    CECES (short for the Council of Early Childhood Education and Services) is changing with the times.   Our slogan “Children Come First”  in the 90’s has evolved to “Families Come First” in the 2020’s.  

Families encompasses babies all the way to the elderly.  We include domestic helpers in the mix, for housework and child rearing are in their job description.   Families are not only for humans.  Families live with, and love their pets.   So families, holistically, includes everyone, whether related by blood or are animals.  

CECES’ mission is to create and sustain harmony in families.  However, in our daily experiences with families, many are not at all harmonious.  They are dysfunctional.  Why in the midst of Hong Kong’s prosperity and high standing in the world, do we see so much mental and physical anguish amongst family members?   

In 2025 The World Happiness Report ranked Hong Kong 88th place out of 147 countries.  While China ranked 68th, Taiwan 27th and Singapore 34th.  We have fallen to its lowest-ever for the fifth consecutive year.   

So why is Hong Kong so unhappy?   Family is the core unit in any society.   So we must look into the family for some answers.  One indicator for happiness requires having someone to care about you and talk to in family settings.  Maybe we do not value spending time and engagement with our own families.  

Emotional Disconnect

While traditional Chinese values of respect, and trust are intact, research evidence show Hong Kong being one of the most competitive cities in the world, causing a never-ending need to hurry from one activity to the next, always feeling the push to raise oneself to the next level of achievement, and are never truly content. We have lost connections with each other. 

The major factor for family health, collectively, is a sense of security, love, acceptance of  everyone, young and old.   We are seeing the result of parents’ long working hours in a highly competitive society burning away their will and energy to spend quality time in the family.  Instead, they exercise harsh and strict routines for their children to meet school demands.  Hong Kongers have high expectations for social status and career success, these taking precedent over the family’s emotional well-being.  

Lack Communications

Good communications are learnt, then practiced.  Engagement in meaningful dialogue requires empathetic listening and the ability to translate thoughts and feelings into positive words, body language and facial expressions.  Schools and the home must move beyond scolding, criticisms, and begin to show affirmation and support for children’s real interest and abilities.  Adults themselves can build courage to express their individual feelings and thoughts instead of being influenced to follow society’s trends, which often do not align with their true passions. 

A family’s happiness depends on a stable marriage.  Our counsellors relate stories of broken homes because parents harbour many misunderstandings, leading to long term unresolved issues, ending up with contempt for each other and finally ending in hatred and divorce.  Astonishingly, Hong Kong is one of the divorce capitals of the world, with divorce rates growing exponentially in the past two to three decades. 

Unmet Needs

A family living in discord is toxic for all members.  Children cannot fend for themselves if they have not been encouraged to talk about their likes and dislikes, what they fear, and what they wish for. The elderly may be ignored, no one remembering the sacrifices they once made to bring up a family, and are now feeling isolated and sad.  Does the family understand the needs of domestic carers, who have left their own families to work for another in a foreign city?   Pets too, exhibit signs of stress and anxiety when families quarrel.  Animals are like children, who are sensitive and disturbed when they witness anger and aggression amongst family members.  

Some estimates as many as 1.2 to 2 million people struggle with some form of mental illness, diagnosed or otherwise.  Family life, coupled with academic pressures are associated with anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation.  So, not surprisingly, Hong Kong has a low index of happiness.  

The dichotomy is that outwardly, we are a well-ordered society.  We keep our streets clean; on public transport we give up our seats to pregnant women, the elderly or the disabled; we have the ICAC to tackle corruption; a responsible police force to protect life and property and safeguard our national security.  We have all the infrastructures and amenities of any modern city.   We should be happy.  

Despite statistics showing our unhappiness, we are not all grumpy, really.  There are actually a great many happy, contented, calm and kind people in this beautiful crowded Hong Kong city.   We are also charitable to a fault, everyone rushing to help fire victims with food, clothing and shelter, for example.  We have enough of everything for ourselves and we wish to offer things to others.  Happiness is about unselfish sharing.   

But there are obviously missing links.  These are psychological, mental, hidden, abstract, non-physical, complex.  Hard to deal with.  

Attitudes, Approaches, Actions

Missing links are not, however, difficult to bridge to form a solid chain.  Connecting the links will create lifelong feelings of attachment and warmth within the family.  Even for singletons who prefer to be alone, unmarried, or living and working as a one-man band, they were born from a male and a female, so no one can claim they got started on their own and so families are overrated  

CECES has a mission to bring blessings to families.  We must learn what happy hormones are:  dopamine, serrations, oxytocin, endorphins and how they give us pleasure.  Simply put, we must adopt the ATTIDUDE that our family has the right to be happy.  We then make a concerted effort to find the right APPROACH for our family’s unique preferences.  Then we prepare ourselves to take ACTION and be determined to uphold a joyful life style.  

In the coming articles, we will explore how families can achieve mutual respect, find emotional security, set clear boundaries, effectively solve problems, provide support, show physical and emotional affection towards each other, and continue to develop in honesty and love for one another. 

Last, but should be the first in order of importance, is to “know thyself”, for all things good comes from the examination of our own thoughts, words and deeds,  stay tuned and know that happiness is not all that elusive, nor mysterious, and that anyone can be gifted with it.  We can all help to improve Hong Kong’s happiness ranking by upgrading our love and harmony in our own families.   

References

The World Happiness Report is a partnership between its editorial board and pollster Gallup, the Oxford Wellbeing Research Centre, and the UN Sustainable Development Solutions Network.

The moderating effects of positive psychological strengths on the relationship between tiger parenting and child anxiety.

Author links open overlay panel Hau-lin Tam a, Sylvia Y.C.L. Kwok a, Chloe C.Y. Ling b, Candice Ip-ki Li a

“Know Thyself”, from ancient Greece, famously inscribed above the entrance to the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, a philosophy of self-reflection as the start of wisdom.